Property of....You.

I recently came across a Facebook “rant” that really pushed my buttons. I’m not one to engage in online fights or comment battles, but I just couldn’t let this one go. This particular rant was imploring young women to stop posting revealing pictures on social media because (and this is the part that angers me) “your body belongs to your husband or future husband”. Well pardon me, but I was pretty certain my body belonged to me. I don’t remember having “Property of Spouse” stamped on my ass. I don’t recall a property deed included with my birth certificate, and yet time and again society and government will tell me my body isn’t mine, because I’m a woman. They will tell me I’m not allowed to make decisions about it. They will make laws that take away my right to do with it what I please.

The idea that a woman’s worth is directly proportional to her husband is both antiquated and outrageous. To say that a woman’s body belongs to her husband or partner is to devalue every moment she lived before she was married and teaches young women that their one goal in life is to strive for marriage. We no longer live in a world where women are expected to sit and wait until a suitable husband is found.  We are not property. We are beautiful creatures full of life. We have gifts, ideas, and dreams that are all our own. Even when we choose to be intimate with someone, we aren’t giving that person our body, we’re sharing it with them. That act is yours to share, not someone else's to take because they feel entitled to it.

Just because you don’t feel the need to post certain types of pictures online doesn’t mean you have the right to tell another woman that she can’t. Who are you to tell her that her body doesn’t belong to her?  Her choices are her own, just as your choices are your own. We don’t always have to agree with each other, but as women shouldn’t we respect each other? Shouldn’t we support other women instead of shaming them? The world is already against us, why must we continue to be against each other?

Things My Nieces Taught Me

I have two beautiful nieces, Kate and Emalyn. They are both so breathtaking and unique it’s hard to believe that they’re real. It’s hard to believe these two precious beings exist and that I get to be a part of their life. I get to watch them grow and learn and become two women the world has never seen before. I get to help them do that, I get to teach them things, but recently I realized something. It’s not about what I get to teach them, it’s about what they are teaching me. These are just a few lessons I’ve learned from my nieces.

  

             Live like no one is watching 

       Not just sing and dance, but live! My niece Emalyn, who is 3, was the recipient of an Elsa dress this Christmas. This was not any Elsa dress, this dress sang. When you pushed a button on the bodice “Let It Go” rang out all over the house, and Emalyn loved it. She sang, danced, and shot magic out of her hand with not even a hint of embarrassment. If only we could go after our passions with such abandonment. If only adults could forget about what anyone might think of their dreams and chase them as far as they could. What a life that would be.

 

      

      To treasure every moment of life 

       My oldest niece Kate is 7, and it seems every day is an adventure for her. Every day there is a new discovery to be made, and her excitement is contagious. We live in a hard world. One that insists we focus on work and the next dollar, but what if we took a moment to enjoy the world around us? What if we let ourselves get as excited as a 7-year-old. What if we let the laughter in and pushed the stress out?

      To be kind 

      Both my nieces are kind. Whether it’s insisting you have some of their snacks with them, or making sure you have the best hair in the play room, their kindness is evident from the moment you meet them. I think we could all stand to be a little more kind. To share a snack with someone. Imagine what a simple smile could do to someone else’s day.

           To cherish my sister 

       Emalyn and Kate love each other dearly. Kate is an amazing older sister, and Emy admires everything she does. They are good to each other. When you grow up and start to live your own life, it’s easy to take for granted that person who shared their Barbies and clothes with you once upon a time. My nieces remind me to be thankful for my sister, to cherish our memories and make new ones.  After all she made these beautiful girls, so she can’t be all a bad right? ;) 

     We often forget that the children in our life are full of a different kind of wisdom. They have yet to be jaded or scarred by this world and therefore see it in a completely different light. What a marvelous gift it must be, to view the world with the majesty and wonder of a child.

Happily Ever After? Happily Never After....

“When Love speaks, the voice of all the gods 

Makes heaven drowsy with the harmony” Love’s Labour’s Lost 4.3

Recently I have come to realize the term “romantic” has taken on an entire new meaning. Today people hear romantic and they think sweet lovers and happily ever afters, every story ending in a smile, but the truth is not every romantic story gets a happy ending. Not every prince and princess end up riding off into the sunset, not every Cinderella finds her shoe, and not every sleeping beauty is awakened by true love’s first kiss. My point is not to rain down cynicism on those stories. I love a happy ending, but I also love a tragic one. Romance isn't always defined by the story ending in vows of forever and the promise of a bright future.

“For never was a story of more woe…” Romeo and Juliet 5.3

I am willing to prove my point to you. Some of the most romantic stories in history didn't end in rainbows and smiles. I think everyone would agree that Romeo & Juliet is one of the most famous romances ever put to paper, but it ends in death. Triston & Isolde, is yet another love story that ends tragically. Antony and Cleopatra, Guinevere and Lancelot, Robb and Talisa, Ned and Catelyn, Tyrion and Shae (that was for you GOT lovers like me) Jay and Daisy, Wash and Zoe, Paris and Helen, and how can we talk about sad endings without mentioning Jack & Rose? (Make fun if you want Titanic is the bomb.com). As my high school AP History teacher would say, You can’t swing a dead cat in the literary world without hitting a tragic love story.

“Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar;

But never doubt I love” Hamlet 2.2

These poignant tales of love aren't considered any less romantic because they don’t end happily, in fact I would guess that they are held in an even higher regard because the loves are cut short. In today’s world of RomComs and a “let’s try to please everyone attitude” we have forgotten what the love stories are really about. Each one of the above tales are filled with prose of devotion, soliloquies of everlasting love, and the sacrifices those lovers made for each other, and they are beautiful. Sometimes romance is a slow burn simmering throughout a lifetime, other times it’s a flash of light meant to brighten our world for a fleeting moment, and sometimes it’s taken away from us tragically leaving one lover behind forever changed. My point is this, the length of a romance doesn't determine its value. It’s not always about the destination, sometimes it’s about the journey, and the journey is beautiful. 

If You Can Make it There….Oh Hell it Doesn’t Matter!

Well, I’m home again…sort of.

For five years after I graduated high school I lived in the bustling metropolis that is Los Angeles, convinced that L.A. was the only place I could make my dreams come true. Now as I write this I am sitting in my New Orleans townhouse enjoying a wonderful winter day and honestly not at all missing the sunshine.

Why did I move? Let Me Count the Reasons!

It was a hard decision, moving from Hollywood to the Big Easy, but one that had to be made. You see I had gotten stuck. I had graduated from the prestigious AADA and after three years of busting my hump I little to show for it, creatively. I was in a corporate job, moving up the ladder, but I wasn’t happy. I was playing the same roles over and over again and had become complacent. It wasn’t that there wasn’t any opportunity for my artistic life there, it was that I didn’t care. The city no longer excited me, the smoke and mirrors had faded away and I personally didn’t care for what I saw.

Do what Scares You!

After some serious evaluation and discussions with my roommate and writing partner, Emily Martens, we decided that perhaps the City of Angels wasn’t the right place for either of us. We knew New Orleans was on an upward swing in the entertainment industry and after taking a trip down south for Mardi Gras it just felt right. So six months later we were on the road headed South, and haven’t looked back.

You Might Be One Choice Away From a Happy Ending

I’ve gotten far more work here than I ever did in L.A., and more than that, I feel like New Orleans feeds my creativity. We are on the brink of releasing a brand new book series called Death of Eden, working on multiple writing projects, constantly on set, and meeting wonderful people in the process. I don’t miss Los Angeles in the least, of course I miss my friends. Some of the greatest people I’ve ever met are back in the Valley and leaving them hurt my heart, but the city was hurting my soul.  

I don’t write any of this to bash L.A. or tear it down, I really don’t. For some it is absolutely the right place to be. It just wasn’t for me. The point is, don’t trap yourself into thinking that there is only one path for your dreams.  YOU make them happen, and with courage and a little creativity you can make them happen anywhere. Hollywood might be a great place for actors but it’s not the ONLY place for them! Looking back, I would never trade my time there for anything, but I am so proud to now say I live in LA not L.A.

Peace, Love and Belles! 

We are Mississippi

I know usually my post is a witty commentary on my life but today I wanted to talk about something different, something more, something deeper. I want to talk about where I’m from.

I am from Mississippi, and that is a fact that I am proud of. Unfortunately you’ll find that many people would not see it that way. There is a misconception about Mississippi, about the South in general really and it’s a misconception that breaks my heart. Ask around and you will find that the country overall views us as poor, backwoods, uneducated, racist, lazy people; this could not be further from the truth. Does Mississippi have its problems? Of course it does, but so does every other state in the Union. Are we marred by a dark and disgraceful past? Yes, but we are not defined by our past, and our future should not be dictated by the sins of our fathers. Take a closer look and you’ll see that Mississippi has more to offer than you ever thought.

Mississippians are some of the hardest working people I've ever come across. Every day they break their backs to provide for their families, to give their children something better.  I’m proud that those people are my people. I’m proud that Mississippi mud runs in my veins.

Mississippi is also a hidden gem of art, culture, and music. Giving us people like BB king, Morgan Freeman, Elvis Presley, William Faulkner, Myrlie Evers-Williams, Beth Henley, James Earl Jones, Jim Henson….The list goes on: singers, authors, activists, actors, people who make a difference in this world. I graduated from the Mississippi School of the Arts in Brookhaven, MS and there I was exposed and nourished by the art and history my state has to offer. What if we channeled that? What if we challenged the notion of what has always been and pushed forward with what could be? My friends Vincent Chaney and with Greg Gandy along with Lauren Cioffi made a documentary called subSIPPI (edited by Clay Hardwick) that explores that very question, digging beyond what was hidden beneath the years of discrimination and assumptions to expose what could flourish if we let it.

Does Mississippi need to change? Absolutely. We need to stand up and be heard for who we are, not who we are assumed to be.  Let’s not allow our state be judged and discriminated against because of the actions of a few. Let’s take back our voice from those who should not be speaking for us. We are Mississippi, and we are proud.

*subSIPPI is set to release in 2013, check it out at www.subsippi.com.

Sunny days and Shopping ways:

Weather and shopping as told by a Southern transplant.

 

I was sitting at my Hollywood apartment the other day, staring out the window at the sunshine, palm trees, and beautiful blue sky and it hit me…what the hell is wrong with this place! Everyday it’s the same thing sunshine, sunshine, sunshine! It’s kind of like being stuck in a really weird horror movie. I keep expecting a sunshine fueled monster to attack the city and there would be no way to stop him because God knows the world would end if LA got a cloudy day. I’m not saying the sunshine isn’t nice, of course it is, I love the beach just as much as the next girl; but every damn day of the week? Doesn’t the weather know how to do anything else! If it weren’t for the crappy neighborhood and constant mariachi music coming from the building next door, you would think I lived in Stepford! All I am asking for is a little rain more than twice a year, but no I look out the window and all I see is the lovely vitamin D! Not one single cloud in the sky. Of course if it was raining that would be a whole different disaster. Being that rain in LA is so rare, people tend to think the sky is falling when we get the slightest sprinkle. I promise guys it’s just rain not acid, it won’t burn you, or melt you, or coat you with some weird chemical, it will just get you wet! Earthquakes they can handle, fires they can cope with, but the minute that first drop hits the ground you would think you were witnessing an apocalypse of some kind. I don’t know what they would do if it ever rained here like it does in the south, but I imagine boats would be involved; to be fair though I would probably act the same way if I had to figure out how to drive in the snow. Maybe I am being a bit harsh on my West Coast friends; I mean it’s not their fault that the place they live in is a smog-lined bubble of sunshine.

On the other hand seeing that most of the LA shopping is outside the nice weather makes for some great retail therapy days; we Southern women do love to shop! LA has some of the best shopping I have ever seen. There is a store for pretty much anything. On Melrose there are stores with all white clothes, stores with all black clothes, shoe stores, purse stores, Goth stores, costume stores, vintage stores, S&M stores…I think you get where I’m going with this. You can get pretty much anything out here if you know where to look. And don’t even get me started on Rodeo Drive! Just walking down that street will make you feel special. Going inside the stores is even better. I mean they really care about customer service. Every time I step in one of those stores they pay extra attention to me. Little ole me in plain blue jeans I get more attention than the woman in the Chanel dress who came in behind me. And when I pick something up they get real interested in me. There is something about a store that makes you feel like a genuine white trash shoplifting threat that warms the heart!

I would never be treated like that in Wal-Mart, I have serious trouble getting anyone’s attention in Wal-Mart. That is one thing that LA runs low on… Wally World, there are very few Wal-Marts in the land of dreams. I remember coming home for Christmas after my first year out here and all my friends asking what LA was like; well when I told them about the lack of Wally Worlds they looked at me very seriously and asked, "Where do you buy all your groceries?” I proceeded to tell them that here are these amazing newfangled things called grocery stores and all they sell is food. I thought that their heads might actually explode.

I do miss Walmart though. There is just something so nice about a place where a loaf of bread will cost you $100 or more because the minute you enter the store you suddenly need a new lamp, four new shirts, a pair of shoes, a scrap book, and tires. I call it the Wal-Mart effect: the second you enter those automatic doors you are under the spell; for whatever reason you suddenly have to have that bundle of pre-packaged firewood on sale in the back of the store near the garden section…never mind the fact that it’s July and you don’t have a fireplace. Yes I definitely miss Wal-Mart just as much as I miss the rain. Nowhere out here could I get my car detailed, shop for dinner, and buy a new dress all at the same time!